Month: October 2021

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. Apparently the crews were marooned.

I told my mum I got a job in a bowling ally She said What 10pin. I said no permanent

I bought one of those telescopic ladders. It’s useless – I climbed all the way to the top, and the moon is still no clearer.

Told my wife I thought her trousers needed taking in “Do you think I’ve lost weight?” she smiled “No” I said “it’s started raining”

Major: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning, Sergeant!” Sergeant: “Thank you, Sir!!”

A man gasping of thirst in the desert sees a trio of brightly coloured tents. He goes to the first to beg for water, sorry sir the occupant says we only have custard. The thirsty man goes to tent numbers two and asks for water. Sorry sir only have jello ( or jelly). Oh said the man and heads to tent 3. Water water he demands, but the owner has only cream and fruit. This is odd said the man, yes sir said the man in tent it’s a trifle bazaar

How do ask for an Orange in Mandarin?

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says “Oh, I forgot to tell you, today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”

When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one.

I’ve discovered a formula for invisibility. All I need to do now is find the piece of paper I wrote it on